Crusty Proto
Synopsis – ‘Unknown incomplete and glitchy game, with build date roughly around 1997, found in a pack of CD bought in a garage lot. It tries to mimic Resident Evil very hard, as it was big hit at the time.
Though in this state, i think i know who to blame, why it didn't make it to release...’
Review - Wonderful little PS1-type game that is bad and unfinished intentionally. It took me about 10 minutes to play from beginning to end. Some of the mechanics (like utilising the rigid camera of old consoles to hide things) were actually quite cool, and the different scenes were also charming (they were a little ugly but shhh). The glitches were the crux of the game’s comedy, and I was grinning the whole way through. The commentary you’ll see in the top left corner is also quite funny, and contrary to what they say, my boy Matt did nothing wrong
The controls were a little hard for me to get used to but that’s entirely on me for being a bit slow
FINAL RATING: 7/10
Snow Flow
Synopsis – ‘Walk around as a penguin, leave marks in the snow, and listen to some chill, electronic music. Maybe find your mate along the way…’
Review – What it says on the tin really. The soundtrack is great, and it changes up depending on what area of the glacier(?) you’re on. The other penguins can be knocked about and pushed into the ocean if you so fancy (I did). It’s more an experience than a game to me; you wander around looking for your mate, then you have a (very cute) baby and then that’s that. Graphics are adorable and I love the fact that you leave footprints wherever you go. Took about 5 minutes to finish
FINAL RATING: 5/10
Tiny Pack
Synopsis – ‘Guide a pack of TINY CREATURES out of the SCARY FOREST.
• UNIQUE DICE-CREATURES WITH COOL ABILITIES
• SCARY FAIRYTALE VIBES
• BUILD YOUR DICE DECK
• WILL THE ANIMALS BE SAFE?’
Review – You can get a good number of replays out of the game just by making different decks, and there’s a decent amount of strategy needed to get through some levels (though RNG can still fuck you over despite your best efforts). I like the designs for all the animals, and I did feel bad about having to leave some of them behind, but it’s necessary evil. Very polished for a game made in 48 hours, and it took 5-10 minutes to finish one full playthrough
FINAL RATING: 7/10
Flesh, Blood & Concrete
Synopsis (mine) – Horror mixed with apartment exploration where there’s discussions of memory and lonliness
CW: Allusion to Suicide; Imagery of meat and innards (they also make squelchy sounds); Corpses; Unsettling imagery; Existential Dread
Review – Visually beautiful (and unsettling) game with a story that is both horrifying and also weirdly comforting? I also feel that if I grew up in/lived in Eastern Europe the setting of this game might evoke some sort of nostalgia (which I think works particularly well considering a big chunk of the game is about memory and the distortion of it) but since I didn’t it doesn’t. Nika’s really sweet despite being slightly off-putting at the start, and she’s very good at articulating some of my own thoughts on loneliness and connection; she’s tragic in her own separate way from Lera. The game takes about 35 minutes to finish but it packs a lot into it (those home videos are both fascinating and also quite strange) and it’s the type of game you’ve got to play to really get
FINAL RATING: 9/10
Last Seen Online
Synopsis – ‘You were always a snoop, weren’t you? That’s why you bought an old computer you saw lying among piles of junk at a garage sale. You didn’t even bother to format the computer before you turned it on. You were curious. After all, a personal computer is an extension of another person’s soul, all their secrets, projects, interactions.’
Review – This game perfectly encapsulates a very specific fear I had when I was about 9, which is very cool if not incredibly unnerving (honestly, the fear still kind of exists in my brain but it’s less a fear and just something I keep thinking about). Anyways, the game is composed of a few logic puzzles in an escape-room style. I’m a bit slow when it comes to figuring out the solutions for puzzles, and this game was no different. However, I never got frustrated with them because once I understood what the clues were directing me to do, I could only smile and go ‘ah hah!’; they’re incredibly clever and made the first playthrough incredibly rewarding. It’s not got great replay value for me (purely because I now know the answers to the puzzles) but the story itself is pretty good, if not a tad cliché? It’s haunting and, quite frankly, miserable.
(Also, 2,763 days is 7 and a half years. Just in case you were curious)
FINAL RATING: 9/10
Synopsis – ‘Embark on a strange journey to find your lost beetle. No swords or shields are needed—your keyboard will suffice.’
Review – Really simple puzzle game where your only tools are your keyboard and your ability to type (and by proxy, spell). When I say simple, I mean you’ll be done in about 3 minutes, but it’s a very charming experience, and I’d love to see a bigger game with these sort of mechanics
FINAL RATING: 7/10
Rockstory
Synopsis – ‘A simple story about a rock who dreams of transforming into something else.’
Review – Small visual novel-esque game about a rock who wishes he were more than a stationary rock. It takes about 5 minutes to complete and is by the same duo who made b-e-e-t-l-e. It’s able to capture the vaguely existential nature of just existing day to day to day, but it’s got a nice message that you don’t really need to force a change in yourself since there’s going to be someone who’ll like you for who you are and not what you could be
FINAL RATING: 6/10
Dog Wash
Synopsis – ‘Give the doggo a bubble bath and a shower with the shampoo and water shower head in the bath!
Dry the doggo and remove any loose fur and under coat with the blow dryer in the groom station! (I got lazy so the dryer does everything...)
Release the doggo outside and you're done!’
Review – Super short game about giving a dog a bath! When I say super short, I mean it takes a singular minute to finish. The mechanics are very simple. The dog is really cute; love all the different animations that it performs (the one it does when you’re drying it is my favourite)
FINAL RATING: 6/10
Please Answer Carefully
Synopsis – ‘A five-minute horror game about surveys and stalking. Made in 24 hours.’
CW: Stalking
Review – Horrid experience! The game itself is well produced for such a small project (it takes about 5 minutes to finish) and it definitely freaked me out. Played it during the day with other sounds in the background, so I was able to like, remain calm (just felt a tad anxious), but if I played this at night I’d probably not be able to sleep
FINAL RATING: 7/10
Assessment Examination
Synopsis – ‘Thanks for applying to the Authenticity Assessment Department.
We wish you luck on your upcoming examination!’
Review – It’s your fairly typical analog horror fare. Y’know, the static(?) lines, warped facial imagery, text-to-speech narrator, ‘Do you believe in God’, the whole works. You’re applying for a job at the AAD, and you have to decide whether or not the person you’re shown should be considered a threat. It wasn’t particularly scary, nor was it that creepy either. Maybe I’ve consumed enough stuff that presents similar concepts better, but it just felt cliché in the most bog-standard, boring way
(I can’t tell you exactly how long this takes to finished because I went for a piss midway through)
FINAL RATING: 5/10
Little Chef
Synopsis – ‘A fun and cute 2D physics-based cooking game with a focus on experimentation and discovery.’
Review – Cute little game where you combine ingredients to make various different foods! There are 40 regular foods and 17 misc items to be created. It was incredibly entertaining trying to figure out every single recipe, although some of them took me ages to gets (though I reckon that’s just because I’m bad at keeping track of what I have and haven’t tried yet). It’s incredibly satisfying filling up the recipe book, and the physics add an extra layer of fun and charm
FINAL RATING: 8/10
The Chef’s Shift
Synopsis – ‘Serve hungry customers, get them satisfied — and in return, get their money — to help you get closer to reaching the minimum sales target. It requires a good balancing act between cooking, serving, and managing all kinds of disturbance, all at the same time.’
Review – I was evidently on a cooking game kick today. The gimmick this time is that it’s a typing game! You fulfil customer orders by typing the right words and giving it to them; some foods require multiple steps to complete. It’s a very fun game, and it gets awfully stressful in the later rounds. The background game is also pretty decent
FINAL RATING: 7/10
Admin
Synopsis – ‘It’s a fresh new year and you have a fresh new job! You thought being an IT guy would be easy, but your boss gives you a huge challenge right on the first day. Turns out that, after the new year, everyone in the office seems to have forgotten their computer’s password! Now you have to play the detective and figure out how to unlock the computers in the office.’
Review – Quick-ish puzzle game where you have to interpret various office worker’s passwords. They get progressively harder (although not too hard) and you get a free hint every minute or so (quite helpful for the last one). The game was very fun, and the characters themselves were quite charming in their own ways. Like most puzzle games I play, it’s a one-time play
FINAL RATING: 8/10