Film Log
Here you can find the reviews for all the films I've watched! This part of the site is (hopefully) going to be used in place of my Letterboxd account.
2024
My Bloody Valentine - (2009)
Watched: 12th December
Rating: 2.5 Stars
Notes: I'll be honest: I only watched this one because it has Jensen Ackles in it. While the gilet Ackles was wearing was criminal, Axel was the real villain of this film; what do you mean you're getting pissy at your wife for existing in the same town as her ex WHEN YOU GOT ANOTHER WOMAN PREGNANT!! The 3D made the film funny which probably wasn't their intention. The full frontal nudity was a bit of a shock; she is a braver soldier than I and I commend her for it. Entertaining but a tad boring, and the only interesting kill was the one with a shovel right at the start.
Kamikaze Girls - (2004)
Watched: 5th December
Rating: 5 Stars
Notes: Momoko and Ichigo are gay; the film's structure has the beats of a typical rom-com, but the producers were cowards. They're the perfect foils for each other. It's just so heartwarming and fluffy and funny. Go watch!
Saw - (2004)
Watched: 12th November
Rating: 5 Stars
Notes: The only Saw film I will be watching! Watched it while eating breakfast which wasn't the smartest idea, but it did spawn 'Toast and Homosexuality' so overall it was a net gain. Adam and Lawrence are gay I won't take criticism. Kramer is probably the most hindged in this film but his ideology is still undercooked. Also, RIP Sing you didn't deserve that.
The Truman Show - (1998)
Watched: 23rd October
Rating: 5 Stars
Notes: It's an absolute classic and brilliant psychological horror film. Much like the reality of Truman's life, it hidden under layers of comedy and carefully constructed facades. There's also the idea that once he leaves he still won't really have a normal life. Therefore, if I was Truman, I would've bitten someone as soon as I got out.
Avengers: Infinity War - (2018)
Watched: 29th September
Rating: 3 Stars
Notes: As a standalone film it was entertaining, engaging and emotional. I feel like I would've enjoyed this more (and probably given it a higher rating) if I'd watched more of the previous Avengers adjacent films. I didn't know who a lot of people were so I didn't feel for them on a personal level. Thanos is actually a very good villain who's multifacated; I get where he's coming from even though I don't agree with his actions.
Doctor Strange - (2016)
Watched: 27th September
Rating: 3 Stars
Notes: I watched the second film in cinema with two of my friends having not watched the first one. Having now watched the first one I wasn't missing out on a whole lot. I've always stated I don't like Bennedict Cumberbatch but I think that's just because he played the most bastardised version of Sherlock I've had the displeasure of seeing and I can't get rid of a grudge. I like Stephen Strange as a character, he just gets some mediocre films.
Spider-Man: No Way Home - (2021)
Watched: 27th September
Rating: 3.5 Stars
Notes: Deliberated on what rating I should give this film but the one it has feels pretty fair. I think this whole film would've had more of an impact on me if I had uhhh. Actually watched any of the Maguire or Garfield Spiderman films. I know the main plot beats and villains so it was still a pretty good watch. Might be better on a rewatch?
Venom: Let There Be Carnage - (2021)
Watched: 16th September
Rating: 3.5 Stars
Notes: Definitely worse than the first but stands on its own as a good fun time. It's a gay rom-com disguised as a typical action film and I think that's beautiful. I watched both films ready to see the third in cinemas and then I just didn't do that. Whoops.
Venom - (2018)
Watched: 16th September
Rating: 4.5 Stars
Notes: This film is great and people don't know how to have fun. The Venom franchise as a whole is the only good thing Marvel has made in the last couple years. An absolute romp, and Eddie Brock is a soggy bag of a man whom Venom loves.
Fight Club - (1999)
Watched: 8th September
Rating: 4 Stars
Notes: Surrealist art my beloved. I have to give it to the straight dude-bros, this films is good. I was confused for most of it but I think that's kinda the point. Pains me to say this but Brad Pitt was hot in this one.
Scream - (1996)
Watched: 8th September
Rating: 5 Stars
Notes: Outstanding! The only one of the franchise I've ever watched because it's the only one I care to watch. I knew who the killers were before going into this (you can't go anywhere on Tumblr in October without seeing Billy) but it was still thrilling and way more comical than I was anticipating. 10/10 purely because Matthew Lillard is in it.
Dirty Harry - (1971)
Watched: 28th June
Rating: 4 Stars
Notes: I think this is the only film I've watched that has Clint Eastwood in it. The film itself is engaging, and Andy Robinson's performance here is outstanding; he's really good at making Scorpio a peice of shit who you're glad to see dead at the end of it all. His performace was way more memorable that Eastwood's (although I may be biased because I love Andy Robinson).
Night at the Museum - (2006)
Watched: 8th June
Rating: 5 Stars
Notes: I love this film so much! Absolutely love the premise, and it's just so goofy. Robin Williams is great (as always), and you gotta love when Jedediah directly quotes Brokeback Mountain to Octavius; truly the world's greatest love story.
Fear in the Night - (1947)
Watched: 1st June
Rating: 3 Stars
Notes: I had no idea what was going on for most of the film, but that's low budget surrealist art for you baby! Watched it purely because DeForest Kelly is in it (he's so fucking cute in this film)
Cruising - (1980)
Watched: 12th May
Rating: 3.5 Stars
Notes: Not entirely sure how to rate and review this one mostly because it's been a while since I've watched it. Recommend you watch it for yourself!
In the Gloaming - (1997)
Watched: 10th April
Rating: 4 Stars
Notes: Another appearance of RobertSean Leonard (I had a bit of a phase) in another of his many sad films. It was a short for what it was covering (the re-establishment of connections in the face of a sisemic tragedy) but its messaging was conveyed well despite that. This is also RSL's only canon gay performance and it's just as tragic as the rest of his filmography.
Mikey and Nicky - (1976)
Watched: 30th March
Rating: 4 Stars
Notes: It's so weird hearing Peter Falk swearing considering the only other thing I know him from is Columbo. A great film diving into the idea that a friend can change so much that they're no longer the person you love and that you sometimes have to get rid of them before you get dragged down as well. It's a little homoerotic and a lot tragic.
Candyman - (2021)
Watched: 30th March
Rating: 3 Stars
Notes: I've not watched the original, and maybe if I had this film would've been more impactful? I don't remember a lot of the story, but I do remember that the main guy took way too long to get his bee sting looked at.
Much Ado About Nothing - (1993)
Watched: 15th February
Rating: 4 Stars
Notes: The whole cast rocks in this Shakespeare adaptation, and that includes Keanu Reeves who just is not acting! Incredibly funny and charming; sometimes I do wish to live in a massive house in the countryside but the bugs would freak me out too much. I've not actually read the original play so I'm kinda hoping that it's as good as this film makes it out to be.
Dog Day Afternoon - (1975) 
Watched: 15th February
Rating: 6 Stars
Notes: It gets the secret and coveted 6th star because this is my favourite film ever. This film is the greatest thing Hollywood has ever produced AND it has Al Pacino playing a guy (Sonny Wojtowicz) who is so so so bad at robbing banks; he's so fucking cute I need to eat glass. You're rooting for him the whole time along with the croud outside, and the ending was rather heartbreaking. Definitely need to rewatch so I can bask in its glory once again.
Kill Your Darlings - (2013)
Watched: 2nd February
Rating: 3 Stars
Notes: To (again) quote me on Letterboxd: 'The vibes carried'.
In retrospect I remember nothing about this film's actual plot but that it was pretty to watch. Daniel Radcliffe is there with a somewhat shoddy American accent. Something I can say with some confidence is that the Dark Academia girlies were having a field day with this one.
Donnie Brasco - (1997)
Watched: 1st February
Rating: 3.5 Stars
Notes: A gangster film made me emotional over friendship which is not what the genre usually aims to do. It's a pretty run-of-the-mill fare, but Pacino (like in most of his films) is great and does carry a decent chunk of the emotional weight for the film alongside Depp.
Scarface - (1983)
Watched: 31st January
Rating: 5 Stars
Notes: This film is a fucking trip in the greatest way possible. It's definitely one of those films straight dude-bros would put on their top 10 alongside American Psycho and Fight Club because 'hehe violence and drugs'. Like those other films they're entirely missing the point of the film (in Scarface, it's the futility of the American DreamTM and the inability to carve one out for yourself despite all your effort). Pretty good!
Scent of a Woman - (1992)
Watched: 22nd January
Rating: 2.5 Stars
Notes: It's mediocre by virtue of being a bit too long but still decently entertaining. The bits near the end were my personal favourite.
Brokeback Mountain - (2005)
Watched: 20th January
Rating: 5 Stars
Notes: To quote me on Letterboxd:
'getting hit by a train would hurt less'.
I stand by this assessment because Jesus. This film hasn't left my brain since I watched it. The raw emotion and fear and love this film encapsulates is just astounding. The ending was real bittersweet, and I'm glad that Ennis decided to actually live for himself and what he wanted, even if it took a great tragedy for him to get there.
Point Break - (1991)
Watched: 14th January
Rating: 4 Stars
Notes: Johnny Utah is the fakest fucking name; I'm sorry but if you tell me that's your name I'm automatically assuming you're a cop. Keanu was hot, Patrick Swazee was hot, there was a touch of homoeroticism. Great film go watch.
Twilight - (2008)
Watched: 14th January
Rating: 3.5 Stars
Notes: My one (and only) foray into consuming Twilight and it was an incredibly entertaining time! It's not a good film by most metrics, and I think most of the things I was laughing at were meant to be taken seriously so. Whoops! But you cannot make me listen to 'you're my own personal brand of heroin' and 'this is the skin of a killer, Bella' without me laughing in your face :P
The Boys Next Door - (1996)
Watched: 13th January
Rating: 4 Stars
Notes: I genuinely don't remember much of what happened in this film but I do remember it being incredibly heartwarming and charming!
My Best Friend is a Vampire - (1987)
Watched: 13th January
Rating: 3.5 Stars
Notes: Cheesy 80s comedy flick with RSL (Wilson from House) as the main lead. It's actually really funny which ups the entertainment factor; vampirism is also an allegory for being gay! Rene Auberjonois is also there to be the cool mentor (who has a sick name; like Murdoc? Brilliant).
2023
Pan's Labrynth - (2006)
Watched: 10th November
Rating: 4.5 Stars
Notes: The creature design is stunning in this film; lowkey I'd give the Pale Man a hug even though he'd eat me. The actual story is also captivating and heartbreaking, and I'm glad Vidal was shot with no mercy. It's definitely one I want to watch again!
Star Trek: Generations - (1994)
Watched: 9th July
Rating: 2 Stars
Notes: DOGSHIT FILM! The Enterprise didn't need to be destroyed like that, poor girl. The Data sideplot was a bit weird? Kirk did not need to be here; like, if he was cut then the film would still work. It also would've been better because HE WOULDN'T HAVE DIED IN THE SHITTIEST WAY FOR HIS CHARACTER! They also did nothing to discuss the Nexus which was a missed opportunity. I'm not pissed off, what gave you that idea :]
Star Trek IV: The Undiscovered Country - (1991)
Watched: 9th July
Rating: 4.5 Stars
Notes: My favourite of the Star Trek films!! It's the perfect send-off for the original crew and that entire era of Star Trek. The story is very engaging and reminicent of the Cold War (funnily enough the USSR collapsed not long after this film's release so!). Finding peace with somebody when all you've known is War and hatred and being able to reconsile it all. Brilliant film!
Star Trek V: The Final Frontier - (1989)
Watched: 8th July
Rating: 1.5 Stars
Notes: It's bad but still campy. You get some absolute banger one-liners and speeches (see Kirk and McCoy's speeches) but it gets bogged down with the rest of the film. The camping at the start was pretty fun I won't lie, great banter.
Star Trek VI: The Voyage Home - (1986)
Watched: 8th July
Rating: 4.5 Stars
Notes: THE ONE WITH THE WHALES!! It's everyone's favourite even when it's not. All of the characters shone in this film, and it was so funny seeing them fuck around in 1980s San-Fransisco AND you get the iconic line that is 'they are not the hell your whales'. Great to watch with other people.
Star Trek III: The Search for Spock - (1984)
Watched: 8th July
Rating: 4 Stars
Notes: I thought it was pretty decent considering not a lot actually happens? It's the type of film that can't really act as a standalone; you need to watch it either after TWOK or before TVH or in the middle of both. Seeing Krik steal and blow up the Enterprise was very cool too.
Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan - (1982)
Watched: 7th July
Rating: 3 Stars
Notes: Considered one of the best Star Trek films but I just found it sorta okay? I might have been a bit too stupid to get the Genesis device thing. Either way, compelling and decently entertaining film, BUT THAT ENDING! OUGH! My heart... Incredibly emotional and well done.
Star Trek: The Motion Picture - (1979)
Watched: 7th July
Rating: 2.5 Stars
Notes: Painfully boring until the last 40 minutes where the plot actually began. I get it was a re-introduction to the original crew but it didn't need to take that long to go anywhere with the story. Bad, but still quite visually pretty!
2022
The Babadook - (2014)
Watched: 25th December
Rating: 5 Stars
Notes: My Notes/Review: Don't as why I watched this on Christmas Day, I was in a weird mood. Don't remember much of it in hindsight but at the time it was effective; need to rewatch.